I hate being lied to, and I hate being kept in the dark...
But does this mean I should hate myself because I lie a lot, and I also tend to not tell people things and keep them in the dark! =/
30 Jan 2011
28 Jan 2011
25 Jan 2011
God I hate this! =/
Well... as the title said... I hate where I am right now!
I don't mean location... I dont like my current location that much, i'd prefer to be down south in a little town called Yateley, but yea. My problem isnt to do with location! My problem is what the fuck im gonna do with my life within the next year or so! I've already said about uni, and how I dont wanna be here, but need to be blah blah blah, but new complications have arose! Problem 1. I don't love the course i'm doing, it's put me off Interior Architecture and Design in fact! But then, problem 2 shows up. I've been thinking that with my A-Level grades (CDDD) im not gonna be able to get a very good job if I do drop out of uni and go into work. How many people have a decent wage packet with my kind of grades? =/ I need this degree to be able to get good money! But I feel without it, i'll end up with a shit house, HUGE morgage and struggling to pay bills! =/
Ohh.... and I still havn't told my parents all this crap! Im such a wimp!
Oh well, lots of things coming up in Febuary, so hopefully that will take my mind of things! 1stly, weekend with friends, I'll miss them LOADS when they've all left again, but hey! Then football in Norwich, will be nice to see Reading play again, weekend at my cousins to maybe, and staying there is always a ball :), then there's also possibly a bursary coming in, so thats £250 hopefully :) New shoes and RFC shirt with Daws 2 on the back :D Then in march, more football, this time in Ipswich, and my cousin and her boyfriend said they'd some and visit at somepoint so that will be fun, and mum said she's visit me too at somepoint! So you know, look at the positives and what not, but its hard to do that when the negatives are SO FUCKING BIG! =/
All in all, im thankful that hardly anyone reads this cos then i'd have to talk to more people about it, and im struggling to even talk to the people that already know about it! =/
I don't mean location... I dont like my current location that much, i'd prefer to be down south in a little town called Yateley, but yea. My problem isnt to do with location! My problem is what the fuck im gonna do with my life within the next year or so! I've already said about uni, and how I dont wanna be here, but need to be blah blah blah, but new complications have arose! Problem 1. I don't love the course i'm doing, it's put me off Interior Architecture and Design in fact! But then, problem 2 shows up. I've been thinking that with my A-Level grades (CDDD) im not gonna be able to get a very good job if I do drop out of uni and go into work. How many people have a decent wage packet with my kind of grades? =/ I need this degree to be able to get good money! But I feel without it, i'll end up with a shit house, HUGE morgage and struggling to pay bills! =/
Ohh.... and I still havn't told my parents all this crap! Im such a wimp!
Oh well, lots of things coming up in Febuary, so hopefully that will take my mind of things! 1stly, weekend with friends, I'll miss them LOADS when they've all left again, but hey! Then football in Norwich, will be nice to see Reading play again, weekend at my cousins to maybe, and staying there is always a ball :), then there's also possibly a bursary coming in, so thats £250 hopefully :) New shoes and RFC shirt with Daws 2 on the back :D Then in march, more football, this time in Ipswich, and my cousin and her boyfriend said they'd some and visit at somepoint so that will be fun, and mum said she's visit me too at somepoint! So you know, look at the positives and what not, but its hard to do that when the negatives are SO FUCKING BIG! =/
All in all, im thankful that hardly anyone reads this cos then i'd have to talk to more people about it, and im struggling to even talk to the people that already know about it! =/
17 Jan 2011
Decisions....
So right now I'm stuck in a rather huge pickle! If a company wanted to jar this pickle and sell it, they couldn't, it's to big! Darn big pickle!
Anyway, the pickle i'm in concernes me... and my place at univercity! In all honesty, I dont really wanna be here, i'd rather be at home, I just dont feel at home here, i've never settled in fully, and frankly, its just not for me! But the problem surfaces because I need to be here cos of the kinda job I want to do, if I want to go on and design buildings, then I need a uni degree! =/ I dont want to be here, but I need to be! Even though I dont actually enjoy it all that much, and it isn't 100% what I thought it would be, I still need to be here cos of the fecking job I want to do! Dont get me wrong though, the course is alright, after all, its what I need to be doing to go down the career path I want to travel down, but whats the point if I dont like anything else about being here? =/
What also makes me not want to be here is all the things I miss that I had at home, the great friends, my tv, gas oven, looking out my window to see gardens and not a plain white wall with several other windows in, wireless internet, the Wii, a nice cheap pub, friedns, more friends, and a nice healthy diet that didnt include having chicken goujons and chips 5 days a week! I have tried to kick the chicken habbit, so far I've had it twice in 8 days, but its the cheapes thing to buy, and its easy to cook, so I see myself returning to that soon! As for friends, people here just arnt my type, seems to me that there's either drunkard that only go out to get pissed, or people that stay in and watch films and have a chat. Noone is like me, and likes to be in the middle (drinking at home and watching films with friends). And my friends are what basically define me, without them, im not me!
Little winge over, time to get some sleep! ... maybe.
Anyway, the pickle i'm in concernes me... and my place at univercity! In all honesty, I dont really wanna be here, i'd rather be at home, I just dont feel at home here, i've never settled in fully, and frankly, its just not for me! But the problem surfaces because I need to be here cos of the kinda job I want to do, if I want to go on and design buildings, then I need a uni degree! =/ I dont want to be here, but I need to be! Even though I dont actually enjoy it all that much, and it isn't 100% what I thought it would be, I still need to be here cos of the fecking job I want to do! Dont get me wrong though, the course is alright, after all, its what I need to be doing to go down the career path I want to travel down, but whats the point if I dont like anything else about being here? =/
What also makes me not want to be here is all the things I miss that I had at home, the great friends, my tv, gas oven, looking out my window to see gardens and not a plain white wall with several other windows in, wireless internet, the Wii, a nice cheap pub, friedns, more friends, and a nice healthy diet that didnt include having chicken goujons and chips 5 days a week! I have tried to kick the chicken habbit, so far I've had it twice in 8 days, but its the cheapes thing to buy, and its easy to cook, so I see myself returning to that soon! As for friends, people here just arnt my type, seems to me that there's either drunkard that only go out to get pissed, or people that stay in and watch films and have a chat. Noone is like me, and likes to be in the middle (drinking at home and watching films with friends). And my friends are what basically define me, without them, im not me!
Little winge over, time to get some sleep! ... maybe.
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About Me
- Stuart.....
- Hi, you should know my name if you've looked at my blog closly enough. Umm.... dont know what else to say really!