Seeing as no-one reads this....

You, Blogger, will now be my bitch! I shall vent to you, you will have to put up with all my crap! Yea, don't like it? WELL TOUGH BITCH!

Lets talk about the events of the last week shall we? Well.... Monday.... blegh, shitty crit, I failed that project xD Tuesday, did my laundry YAY.... Wednesday, er... yawn! Think I had a nap that day! Also started to ponder whether to go home and tell Sam everything. Thursday, I decided that I would go home, just to tell Sam about shit. Brought my train ticket, £37 went, I was hoping it would be well spend....

Friday, train home was rather fun actually! BBMing Yaz all the way, music, going to a place I loved, not a single negative thought really! Got home, went to Yazzii's, surprised Sam, went to Camberley where I ran into Ally and Nath, he's a nice lad, rather cool. Sorta told Sam about how I felt. Friday night, went around Dan's. Was hesitant to tell her, but eventually I did, 1 and a half hours of talking. Found out what I didn't want to know, I was right to think negatively, because that's what happened. The negative side happened. I was hoping that I'd end up not being single by Saturday, didn't happen. Life is a right bitch sometimes! Saturday, off to the cousins, but couldnt get Friday off my mind. Even when killing noob bitches with Ry, and racing muscle cars around race tracks. Sunday, was a bit better... Friday still ran around my head, not as much though. More killings noobs, racing cars, drinking beer and eating food! Monday, they are always shite, no matter what! But today was special, no more fun really, back to uni life which has never been my favorite, waiting for Sam to talk to me cos I dont wanna start every conversation. Was in uni for an hour, even then I didnt like it, new project is...... I dunno. I know nothing about it.

So yea, thats my week! How shit! :(

Do anyone actually read this crap that I post?

-No title-

I hate being lied to, and I hate being kept in the dark...

But does this mean I should hate myself because I lie a lot, and I also tend to not tell people things and keep them in the dark! =/

Sitting here, bored, at 23:36 on friday night, listening to Arctic Monkeys.... what an exciting life I have!

God I hate this! =/

Well... as the title said... I hate where I am right now!

I don't mean location... I dont like my current location that much, i'd prefer to be down south in a little town called Yateley, but yea. My problem isnt to do with location! My problem is what the fuck im gonna do with my life within the next year or so! I've already said about uni, and how I dont wanna be here, but need to be blah blah blah, but new complications have arose! Problem 1. I don't love the course i'm doing, it's put me off Interior Architecture and Design in fact! But then, problem 2 shows up. I've been thinking that with my A-Level grades (CDDD) im not gonna be able to get a very good job if I do drop out of uni and go into work. How many people have a decent wage packet with my kind of grades? =/ I need this degree to be able to get good money! But I feel without it, i'll end up with a shit house, HUGE morgage and struggling to pay bills! =/

Ohh.... and I still havn't told my parents all this crap! Im such a wimp!

Oh well, lots of things coming up in Febuary, so hopefully that will take my mind of things! 1stly, weekend with friends, I'll miss them LOADS when they've all left again, but hey! Then football in Norwich, will be nice to see Reading play again, weekend at my cousins to maybe, and staying there is always a ball :), then there's also possibly a bursary coming in, so thats £250 hopefully :) New shoes and RFC shirt with Daws 2 on the back :D Then in march, more football, this time in Ipswich, and my cousin and her boyfriend said they'd some and visit at somepoint so that will be fun, and mum said she's visit me too at somepoint! So you know, look at the positives and what not, but its hard to do that when the negatives are SO FUCKING BIG! =/

All in all, im thankful that hardly anyone reads this cos then i'd have to talk to more people about it, and im struggling to even talk to the people that already know about it! =/

Decisions....

So right now I'm stuck in a rather huge pickle! If a company wanted to jar this pickle and sell it, they couldn't, it's to big! Darn big pickle!

Anyway, the pickle i'm in concernes me... and my place at univercity! In all honesty, I dont really wanna be here, i'd rather be at home, I just dont feel at home here, i've never settled in fully, and frankly, its just not for me! But the problem surfaces because I need to be here cos of the kinda job I want to do, if I want to go on and design buildings, then I need a uni degree! =/ I dont want to be here, but I need to be! Even though I dont actually enjoy it all that much, and it isn't 100% what I thought it would be, I still need to be here cos of the fecking job I want to do! Dont get me wrong though, the course is alright, after all, its what I need to be doing to go down the career path I want to travel down, but whats the point if I dont like anything else about being here? =/

What also makes me not want to be here is all the things I miss that I had at home, the great friends, my tv, gas oven, looking out my window to see gardens and not a plain white wall with several other windows in, wireless internet, the Wii, a nice cheap pub, friedns, more friends, and a nice healthy diet that didnt include having chicken goujons and chips 5 days a week! I have tried to kick the chicken habbit, so far I've had it twice in 8 days, but its the cheapes thing to buy, and its easy to cook, so I see myself returning to that soon! As for friends, people here just arnt my type, seems to me that there's either drunkard that only go out to get pissed, or people that stay in and watch films and have a chat. Noone is like me, and likes to be in the middle (drinking at home and watching films with friends). And my friends are what basically define me, without them, im not me!

Little winge over, time to get some sleep! ... maybe.